Time is so so precious…

OWLS

Just over a week ago I read a tweet that has had a huge affect on me and hasn’t left my thoughts. A very wonderful and inspirational woman that I follow online lost her nine-month-old baby very suddenly to the angels.

There was nothing wrong with her. No signs of illness or a condition. She learnt to crawl the day she passed away. It has been suggested that she simply crawled under her blanket and suffocated.

As I write this I have tears once again in my eyes.

I do not know @Edspire in person, but the blogging community and reading daily tweets gives you a connection that not all would appreciate.

I have been reading her blog posts and looking at photos of her gorgeous Matilda Mae who seemed so happy. I cannot begin to imagine what she and her family are going through.

I guess it’s no surprise that this last week I’ve struggled with work life balance. My heart is breaking every time I get into my car for work. It seems to be getting harder as Baby O is getting older.

I find I cannot tolerate childish behaviour at work, idle gossiping and my greatest bugbear is laziness right now.

I have two compartments – work and family – any they could not be more black and white right now.

I realise as I write this I am feeling angry. Angry for @Edspire and her loss. Angry that I have allowed myself to be all consumed by work. Angry that my nanny gets to play with Baby O more than I do.

If I had a fairy godmother I’m not sure what I would wish for. I choose to work. I think that makes the guilt even harder to bear.

God bless you Matilda Mae. I am sure you are shining bright on all of us. You are a reminder that time is precious and lives should be cherished.

baby star

xx

http://www.edspire.co.uk/

http://www.edspire.co.uk/year_2013/02/04/dear-matilda-mae-the-night-we-found-you-sleeping/

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Categories: Mum, Working Mum

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4 Comments on “Time is so so precious…”

  1. Victoria Crick
    February 13, 2013 at 4:09 am #

    This has broken my heart this morning E, and I have a lump in my throat as I respond to this post. My heart goes out to @Edspire, I cannot begin to appreciate the roller coaster ride of emotions that the family are going through so all I can say is you are in my prayers and especially little Matilda Mae.

    I can wholely appreciate your angst every morning leaving home, I have suffered with that for the past 13 years but then I feel I am a better mum being able to offer a different type of advice to my kids, more broadminded about life and more tolerant. It does get easier believe me I could write the book.

    xxxxx

  2. February 13, 2013 at 6:59 am #

    Morning VC. Thanks for reading. I think you should write that book! Maybe be a guest blogger on this site for me xxx

  3. Victoria Crick
    February 13, 2013 at 7:46 am #

    Thanks – not sure I would have the confidence to be a blogger !

  4. February 19, 2013 at 3:35 am #

    Losing a child is the worst feeling in the world. I am working on a book, called the idiots guide to helping a woman through child loss. Have been working with lots of women (around 200 of us at current count) who have also lost our babies, to either late stillbirth, neonatal death, or like this lady SIDS, the deaths were all different, but our grief all the same. The biggest advice I could give anyone to support someone is to always live with the love, the love of the child, and keep that child alive, as that child will be alive in the mothers memory forever, until she dies. Encourage the love – for the loss is not for you …. and her baby is love sending you a hug, as I know just how awful it is.,

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